AT&T Wireless Commercials--Go BEEEEP Yourself.

I'm not trying to pick on AT&T, its just that, well, all of their commercials suck. All of them. Suck. Hard.

In addition to the ill conceived and cat-punch-inducing talking thumbs ad, AT&T has gone overboard with a tiresomely repetitive campaign involving cell phone voice mail. Apparently, the company wants you to believe that they get"more bars" than their competition, which allegedly results in better coverage. Well, as a practical matter, it's kind of common knowledge that AT&T Wireless service gargles big hairy 'nads. But, besides that, the commercials are annoying.

They all go something like this: "Beep! Assclown's phone here. Assclown can't take your call now because he doesn't have AT&T. So, when his Doctor called to warn him that the strange rash he complained about was a particularly virulent type of herpes that could only be transmitted by Thai dwarf trannies and that he should not, under any circumstances, have sex with his wife...yeah, he didn't get that message. Sorry honey."

Except, instead of a VD-ridden perv, the commercials feature a creepy overprotective father; a weird-looking corporate hack named Ned; a Michael Phelps-obsessed crazy stalker girl; a dude who doesn't know how to fry a turkey; and, most recently...a snowman. That's right, a snowman. Named "Snowball." Wow.

OK, full disclosure. Maybe I am picking on AT&T. After all, a few years ago my wife got a phone call from a telemarketer who wanted her to switch over to AT&T long distance. When my wife politely refused, the rep called her stupid. So, SCREW YOU AT&T. Besides, your commercials really do suck.