Here's one of my favorite jokes: A bear is in the middle of taking a huge dump in the woods when his good friend, Mr. Bunny, comes strolling along. The bear stops Mr. Bunny and says, "Hey, Bunny, when you take a shit, does it stick to your fur?" Mr. Bunny responds, "Nope." So the bear grabs Mr. Bunny and wipes his ass with him.
Well, apparently, bears do indeed shit in the woods, but they don't use little bunnies; instead, they use Charmin TP. Charmin has gone to great lengths to make the underlying use of their product a little more palatable, by using a cute and furry cartoon bear family.
For the most part, the ads really didn't bother me when they first came out. Recently, however, the ads have gone TMI...by showcasing how much better Charmin is when it comes to leaving behind "little white pieces."
How do the commercials go about showing the problems of leftover TP in your crack? Well, duh! Through a friendly game of family football, of course. You see, Daddy Bear, playing QB, is about to take a snap from Junior under center, when he notices that Junior's bunghole is papered with leftovers. I kid you not when I say that the actual script is: "Down, Set...Yikes!!"
Guess what? Even if leftovers are a problem, I don't want to hear about it, and I sure as hell don't want to see it, on cartoon bears or anyone else. Even if you're into the whole German scheissa-video thing (and really, who isn't?), its still disgusting. Here's a test: Think of someone really, really hot. Now picture them with leftover TP hanging around their nether regions. Still hot? No.
OK Charmin, we get it--your TP is stronger than the competition. Please don't let us know how much more resistant it gets when Junior starts trying out his newest hobby in the bathroom.
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