Don't Go With the Flo

So, the spokesperson for Progressive Insurance is an overstimulated character named "Flo". Flo looks like this:

I would like to offer a psychological profile on Flo. Flo was the girl in High School who was so hyperactive she vibrated. She was obsessed with musical theater and got lame supporting roles in every hackey school production of "Pippen," "Little Shop of Horrors", and "Miss Saigon." She delusionally thought she was going to make it to Broadway, but the closest she would get would be summer gigs at the local amusement park, singing fake Disney songs to a group of 27 screaming and crying 8 year-olds.

Flo was mildly attractive, but was so fucking annoying that no guy could tolerate spending any prolonged period of time with her, even for a guaranteed handy. Any guy who was clueless enough to go out with her never called her again after the first date. This resulted in Flo engaging in several rounds of unhealthy obsessive late-night calls, multiple text messages, 6 restraining orders, and 4 punctured tires.

Flo spent two years in Community College, earning her Associate's Degree in communications. She continued to live in her parent's house, with a room decorated in pink, and walls adorned with posters of 'N Sync, Hello Kitty, and unicorns. She also has 4 cats, two of which have names that begin with "Mr." or "Miss." Finally, when her parents told her that she really needed to find a job, she found an ad on Monster for a sales rep for Progressive. The ad read: "Nation's leading insurance company seeking enthusiastic, high-energy sales representatives. Must be customer-focused and comfortable speaking in public. Prior acting experience a plus."

Flo is having a moderately successful career in sales. Customer feedback on her is binary--those who love her claim that she truly cares about creating a great client experience and has true loyalty to Progressive. Those who hate her state that she is a "little off" and "too intense." One customer has asserted that he received a Valentine's Day card from Flo with a picture of all four of her cats dressed as Cupid.

Of course, everything described above is fiction and crap--I am not a psychologist. However, I am quite certain that everyone knows or has known a Flo in their life. As for the commercials, let's face it, Flo is scary and annoying. If I went into a Progressive store and she came up to me, I would run away screaming. Then again, she is kind of not terrible looking...no, forget it, totally not worth it.